Merry Christmas

I feel really lucky to be where I am right now. I have a lot of great people around me and I cannot have asked for more, and sometimes I don't deserve it. But sometimes I still feel like I am competing with people to achieve goals, and that I am constantly bending over backwards to ensure that I am not boasting, or bragging, or being too overly confident, or helping someone achieve their goals over mine. And I do that because I believe in karma and feel that modesty is a really good trait to have.

I do think I should be a little more selfish and try not to think of what others would think of me and how what I do would affect them. I feel like this isn't a time to be best friends with people (who are competing with you to achieve the same things), but instead to look out for myself. But I always feel guilty and always try to please the other person and place them before me.

Blargh.