Merry Christmas

I feel really lucky to be where I am right now. I have a lot of great people around me and I cannot have asked for more, and sometimes I don't deserve it. But sometimes I still feel like I am competing with people to achieve goals, and that I am constantly bending over backwards to ensure that I am not boasting, or bragging, or being too overly confident, or helping someone achieve their goals over mine. And I do that because I believe in karma and feel that modesty is a really good trait to have.

I do think I should be a little more selfish and try not to think of what others would think of me and how what I do would affect them. I feel like this isn't a time to be best friends with people (who are competing with you to achieve the same things), but instead to look out for myself. But I always feel guilty and always try to please the other person and place them before me.

Blargh.

Tattoos tattoos tattoos

Yay! So I got that "One thinks and deals in a language." quote tattooed on my right side. Now I am thinking of getting an outline of the map of the world right underneath it. Suitable, no?
Plus of course the other tattoos that I already mentioned:
A mermaid on my left foot.
A fleur-de-lis somewhere on my left side, or the left of my back, or my left inner forearm.
Another quote on the left side of my back, below the shoulder blade.
A realistic looking crab on my right shoulder blade.
An antique sewing machine.
The theatre tragedy/comedy masks.
A compass?


And I would like a nostril piercing! - DONE!

Confusion

There are so many things in this world that I love, but so many to question and to doubt, and things that I cannot comprehend whatsoever. I am privileged to say, that I live a happy, healthy life, filled with loving, caring people. I may have very little money in my bank now, but I know that I am earning it, and that I have the ability to spend it. I stay up late at night, and get up early in the morning and I complain about being exhausted from all the work that I do, but I have a bed and a house to sleep in, and I have the means to transport myself to other places and accomplish things. I can eat and drink without a second thought, and I do not worry about being able to afford my next meal. I feel lucky tonight, and I so appreciate all of this, because I know that many people in the world fight for their lives every minute of the day.

Things I don't understand, are how people treat each other and others. Why discrimination exists, why homelessness exists, why genocide exists, why people can be pushed so far as to end their own life.
The recent news of the four teenagers who ended their life due to extreme bullying has once again made me lose my faith in humanity. I just cannot comprehend the level of cruelty that exists in a human being. What drives these people to discriminate others? So far that their victims feel the need to end their life. And how do these people live with themselves, knowing that they've contributed to a suicide? Or do they even realize? Acknowledge? The hard part of this it is the youth who are the centre of this issue. Our future generations. Even worse, are the adults who choose to ignore this bullying, who are the root of these youths' discrimination, and who provide no means of release and help to those who are discriminated against.
I don't understand why we haven't learned from our historical pasts, that hate and discrimination stops us at an evolutionary standstill. The Salem witch trials, the Holocaust, and slavery are probably the three most predominant historical examples of discrimination in my mind. During the witch trials, it was not just the women who were thought to practice witchcraft that were killed. Homosexual men were wrapped in "faggots"(a unit of measurement for a bundle of sticks) to be used as firewood for burning the "witches", and this is where the modern slang term "faggot" is used for a homosexual man comes from.
I would like to talk to these people one day, and ask them to rationalize their discrimination towards others. I want to know what goes through their head when they tease, bully, abuse, harass, and push people to their limits. I want to ask them and have them answer me thoroughly, and maybe when they hear themselves, there might be a second during the time that they're responding to acknowledge the reality of their words and their actions.
I feel like people do not appreciate the gift that they are given, which is life. How can so much pain be inflicted when one lives on such a flourishing world like this? How can people be so selfish, so abusive, and sadistic?
These are the things that I do not understand.

Tattoo bug

I think I'd like to get at least three or four more tattoos.
Fleur-de-lis
A mermaid (not cartoony)
A realistic-looking crab
A quote, these are possibilities:
"Ich denke, dass ich denke - also denke ich, dass ich denke."
"Man denkt und handelt in Sprache."
"One thinks and deals in a language."
"The best way to find out if you can trust someone is to trust them." - Ernest Hemingway

That is all.

M.I.A.: the SUN

Last seen: hiding behind clouds
Last seen providing strong UV rays: don't remember
Last time the temperature went above 19 degrees Celsius: 2009
# of times I've worn my bikini to the beach this year: once - and it was kind of chilly

Reward if found: Not needing to wear jackets and scarves in the middle of June.

Summer plans (again)

It seems like I don't blog very much, and I'm pretty sure I blogged about what I'd do over the summer last year.. but very briefly in short paragraph form. Now I will provide a list! Maybe I'll cross things off when I feel like I've accomplished them:

First things first, I'd like to make sure I pass my courses with a decent average and graduate. Most important.

And then from May until the beginning of September I'd like to...

Learn Italian
Skateboard
Dance. A lot. (Salsa? Ballroom? At the club? Ballet?)
Capoeira
Find polaroid film
Sew
Draw
Party hardy!
Work $$$$$$$
Lion King!!
Keep practicing French and German
Beach. A lot.
Take underwater photos
Take more film photos
Swim
Learn to surf?
Watch more theatre/opera
Play harmonica?
Play more guitar
Watch tons of movies
Picnic
Do a clothes/shoes swap
Shop at thrift stores

I think I might also add to this as I find new things I want to do...

Oh, if I lived 60 years earlier...

...don't think I wouldn't have these boys posted up in my locker: James Dean, Marlon Brando, and Elvis Presley in their younger days. They are so beautiful!
James Franco portrayed James Dean in a film in 2001, and Jonathan Rhys Meyers portrayed young Elvis in a film in 2005. Their resemblances are quite starking.

MJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJ

Not Michael Jackson. But I love him too.

New Marc Jacobs - $100 - Craigslist. I looooove Craigslist!!!

Procrastination Post

Saw Alice in Wonderland and it was neat! Costumes galore :)
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" - Hatter

I have a 1981 Polaroid Sun 660 but I need Polaroid film :( Where can I get Polaroid film?

I have a French presentation and a Swedish quiz tomorrow - both of which I doubt I am ready for.. but I hope I'll survive.

I've been spending way too much time in the costume shop of the theatre at UBC.

I think I'm going to take Italian this summer.

The crazies.. and some thoughts on protesting

The Olympics are here!
I can't believe it, but it's pretty cool.
About 2 months to a few years ago, I was dreading this, because of how insane and crazy it was going to be downtown. But last night I actually was downtown, and in fact I was walking in the core of the insanity, and might I say, I loved it. The feeling of everyone's positive energy, seeing nothing but smiles on people's faces - and of course the obnoxiously loud cheering - made me feel so proud to call Vancouver my home. I mean, how often does this kind of shit happen in your own hometown?
Not very often.

Another thing that is crazy though, are the protesters - those protesting for the homeless situation, the lack of housing, and the general problems that Vancouver is facing now, as well as the money spent on the Olympic Games and the events that are tied with it. I can understand their reasons for protesting, hell, I might have even joined them a few years back, but now they're in a lot of people's black books, and I can see why. They've been protesting for ages, and the group has only grown bigger, but is it necessary for them to ruin a good party? Also, they've vandalized store fronts and the city centre, and even smashed a few windows - aren't they supposed to protest for the sake of the community? How are they helping if they are destroying it? I agree fully with them however, that the government and VANOC has spent way too much money on this. Money that could definitely be used to help with the ever-growing homelessness that is the Downtown Eastside, Vancouver's infamous lack of housing, as well as the recent slashes in Arts funding which I am definitely not appreciating.
But on another note - if you were to think that the Canadian government has spent all of this money on a very large cultural event - then what about all of the money spent by the American government on the war in the Middle East? That not only cost American tax payers, but that also cost many lives.

It's a sad story for protesters, because they end up being the black sheep, though their intentions are for good causes. The things that protesters "protest" are usually those that abide by the law, that are drawn-out peacefully, and do not physically or directly hurt people - but the "radical" protesters then end up being those who cause riots, vandalism, and sometimes even violence. Of course there are the peaceful protesters, which sometimes may go unnoticed. Protests have of course proven to cause change, if not international awareness; I would think China and Iran as examples of great youth movements.

Sometimes I think of protests like wars. Wars do not end on the battlefield, but instead, they end with treaties and agreements - often occurring between some important leaders, a piece of paper, and a fountain pen.

I really do hope that the protests in Vancouver don't cause physical harm to people, because that, in my eyes, would change everything. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

Protests aside, I think this is going to be a very exciting and awesome two weeks - I can't see why I shouldn't go out everyday to soak it all in!